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Blog Post By: Eli
Before you question the title or assume I’m an adrenaline junkie, you have to understand that I had some VERY close encounters with death and medical bills during every hike we did in Zion National Park. Darn medical bills. I’d rather die than pay medical bills. *Someone in the crowd* “Don’t you know you can get medical insurance?” SHUT UP! IT’S ALL GOVERNMENT PROPAGANDA -NONE OF IT IS REAL! IT IS ALL THE GOVERNMENT! ALSO, THE WORLD IS FLA- *CIA agent stuffs writer in bag* *CIA agent throws writer in the back of a van* NO YOU CAN’T DO THIS. YOU CAN’T HIDE THE TRUTH. *CIA agents slams van doors* *CIA van burnouts and puts the pedal to the metal* *2 hours later* I’m coming to you from the CIA van. I found a laptop in the bag so I’m going to continue.
We arrived in Zion tired, hungry and restless from the long car ride. We set up our camper and we walked to the bike store. After 20 minutes in the grueling afternoon sun, we got to the bike store to get some pedal-assist bikes that have lot of interesting mechanics. However, all you need to know is that they went 20 mph and went VROOOM! We walked in to be greeted by a guy who seemed to be the stereotypical weed smoking college student just trying to get by and find something easy and relaxed to do. He was super nice and picked out our bikes and helmets and then we were on our way. We biked back to the camper and the through the canyon up to the hotel where I had a root beer and my family had lemonades. When we got back, we flopped on the bed and went to sleep.
The next morning my dad greeted me with light in my face and ordered me to get out bed which I did not comply with. After a few minutes of relentless arguing, my dad finally pulled my blanket off and turned on the air conditioning which made me cold and want to put on pants, so I got up and got ready. You win again dad. We started to drive out of the park to go hike to the left fork trailhead to hike The Subway. The drive was scenic and magical. We started the hike on a flat high alpine trail which was easy and I thought to myself, “This will be an easy 10 miles.” That is until I saw a sign that said “Entering Zion Wilderness” and through the thicket we emerged to see the canyon from above, seeing the sunrise crack through the canyon. It was gorgeous. Then I looked down and saw the drop off into the canyon and my stomach churned and I backed away to the wall behind me, clinging onto it. I looked to my left to see the Gunnison like route and I felt like my entire chest do a somersault from getting a PTSD flash back of the Black Canyon of Gunnison. As we circled down the trail we hiked over boulders, fell into cactuses (mainly only me), and fell down the trail. We got bottom and WHOA! Sorry, the van took a sharp turn… continuing… we got bottom and saw the roaring river and we entered a bamboo forest. We hiked over slippery rocks through the river, over boulders and had to find our own trail. A half mile took us about half an hour so about 3 hours later, in the hot desert sun with trail finding and the bouldering, I was tired. I was ahead of my family so I kneeled down to the river and got my face wet. My dad turned the corner and saw what I was doing and yelled, “GET AWAY FORM THE RIVER!” I immediately got away from the river and asked why I had to. He asked if I drank any of it and I said no but started to second guess myself, did I drink it? What did it matter? My dad said there was a poisonous alga in the water! Then I started to really second guess myself, did I drink any of the water? Was my life really on a timeline? I continued on the hike trying to determine if I felt sick. Luckily, nothing ever came of it. We continued hiking our calves burning like a bonfire, our ankles aching and our legs begging and pleading for us to stop. We hiked onwards through the gorgeous canyon. We eventually had to hike through the river, up waterfalls through loose rocks, wading through deep water that that was up to our stomachs. We fought through the aching. As we went through the river, we found the rock got slick and every step had to be calculated and precise, or we may not ever see The Subway or the light of day again. As we made way through the river, we turned a corner and we saw The Subway. We saw its majestic curves and stunning formations. We hiked on through The Subway finding new energy in our curiosity and excitement. As we hiked through it, the rocks got more slick and it started to get more precarious. As I trekked on, the wet rock felt as slippery as ice. I started to climbed uphill when I felt my feet stumble and my balance crumble. I had slipped! It was all too fast to know what was happening. As I slipped, I felt my feet fly into the air and the last thing I heard was my head coming down on the angled rock with thunderous crack. The crack echo took my parents breath away. About a minute later I felt myself comeback to my body and I felt myself explode with pain but I was too weak to do anything. Then I felt a warm liquid spread down body. My head had been slammed to the side and hit pretty hard. I instantly thought, AM I BLEEDING? If I was bleeding from my head, it was bad. I opened my eyes to see my metal sunglasses twisted, the glass cracked and the rim broken. I was most definitely bleeding. I stared at my glasses as my head repeated the pain of the echoing crack of my head hitting the rocks. I felt if maybe my life was slipping away. As I stared at the glasses some more, I noticed they had flakes of water on the broken lenses, and I questioned, why? I gained the strength to look over to my other arm which I was sure was covered in blood but I saw none, I saw water! I felt a wave of relief wash over me and I let a breath out, a long shaky sigh of relief and happiness. My dad came rushing to my aide asking me a bunch of questions. After making sure I was ok, he helped me get up and I felt the sickening, relentless headache storm my mind. I got up and staggered to the side with my dad at the end of the tunnel and sat there dazed and aching. After a few minutes we had to get going through the gritty trail and we made our way back to the car the way we came in all the while in the grueling afternoon sun. We drove to camp and I hit the sack. I still had a terrible headache but the beauty of The Subway was worth the blood, sweat, and tears.
I awoke the next morning to my dad shaking me. I had much more energy than the morning before and got up and got ready. We got on our bikes and started towards the Angles Landing trailhead as it was still dark outside. I felt confident as I was dodging and weaving through turns at 20 mph. As I was biking, I went over a gravely part of the road and slammed the brakes so my family could catch up. The bike started drifting! I shifted my weight to the other side, flung my bike into TURBO mode, pulled myself out of the drift and cheated mortality by milliseconds. We eventually made it to the Angles Landing trailhead just as the sun was coming up. We gazed up at the mountain we were about to climb. We eventually got to Walter’s Wriggles which is a set of 21 grueling switchbacks. We hiked up the never-ending switchbacks; our backs aching our ankles sore, and our legs thirsting for rest. We yearned for rest as we huffed up the mountain. We hit a flat path and I got excited that we had reached the top only to find that we had only completed 14 switchback and I was greeted by 7 more switchbacks. A frown melted into my face. 🙁 I trailed on up the mountain. I started to lose excitement as my energy started to wither away. Then I passed a curve and there it was: Scout’s Point. Scout’s Point is a rest stop right before the last half mile of Angles Landing which is a knife edge trail with 500 foot drop on BOTH sides of you… Needless to say with my fear of heights I did not take this very well. My dad said I had to do it and I got furious at him and he furious at me. It was heated and it might have looked as if we were in the band The Eagles (when it was breaking up). Anyway, after I made tons of money on my own, then I got back together with the band, and we started the last half mile. The last ½ mile of the hike began as a slant with a cliff to our right so if you slipped, it was a slick slide and then you would fall off the cliff. We made it to knife edge where you have about a width of foot and there are 500 foot drop offs on either side of you. I couldn’t keep going I had to stop. In the middle of the knifes edge I sat down and felt horrible. My stomach churning, rolling over, doing somersaults. I felt light headed. Anxiety crept into me. I couldn’t do it. I sat there feeling as if I was defeated. I felt that fear had won. Yet I felt I had to do something. I couldn’t let fear be the victor. So, I picked myself up and told my dad who was staying with me that I was going to finish it. I used all of my strength to put one foot in front of another trying not to look down. With each agonizing step we got closer until, I felt my weight shift and I felt myself fall! I hit the ground but caught myself and turned myself vertically so I wouldn’t fall off the edge. The trail was only a foot or so wide and I landed diagonally. So, I could feel my feet off the edge and my head was dangling over the 500 foot drop. I was only a few centimeters from being muerto. I felt deaths chill go down my back even in 100 degree heat. I felt the reaper rapping at my door. The reaper’s scythe had missed me by an inch. I breathed out a long anxiety fueled sigh, got back up, questioned my mortality, and found my dad unaware of this happening because he was in front and didn’t see it. I walked toward him and clung to him the rest of the hike. Through the iron chains I was able to pull myself up to the top. The rustic iron felt like molten lava in the afternoon sun and felt like freezing liquid nitrogen in the morning. The chain was my friend for most of the hike. I got to the top and was greeted by all our hiking friends, my sister and mother. There were of hugs, fist bumps, and high fives, and I felt warm happy tears drip down my face. I was overwhelmed by the view, the support and love. It was magical. I had overcome Angles Landing and my fears. We went back down through the gritty hike and we got to Scout’s Point. I was ecstatic that I had survived. We took Walters Wriggles all the way down to the bottom and I gazed up at the peak I had just climbed. A warm smile appeared on my face and I said goodbye to Angels Landing.
We biked back to our campsite and hit the bed with mighty thump and napped. Later, I got up, broke down camp to head to The Wave! (Be ready for next blog post from my sister!)
Well, it’s been pleasure telling you all the adventures we had at Zion National Park but I think it’s about time I get out this van. I’ll be back, I just have to get out this van and take down the CIA and FBI. Until next time reader.
Wait! Remember they can’t hide the truc-! *CIA agent, knocks writer out* (CIA agent) “Or can we?” *Criminal outro music starts playing*
Great job, Oliver’s!! You are one awesome family!