Granite Park Chalet

HELLO EVERYONE and welcome back to the show. I can’t believe after giving my National Park opinions on this show, none of the park employees have sent a hitman or poisoned my food or something. But that aside, we have a write up tonight that takes you from criticizing campsites to Mafia marmots. Without a further ado, I give you the:

Granite Park Chalet

We packed up and said goodbye to our boring roadside campsite outside Glacier National Park where there were moldy cigarettes in the fire ring. Next, we parked the trailer in the Apgar Visitor Center parking lot and were picked by a white shuttle van. I wasn’t sure if my parents scored these reservations from some sketchy backdoor, black market way, so I sat firmly next to the emergency exit door while in the van. As we drove up the Going to the Sun Road, I realized I was being taken to a secondary location. After about an hour, we arrived at the Loop trailhead, and we were thrown out of the van. It’s fine, they only took one person in the van as a hostage. Hey, they didn’t take any of OUR family members, so the van gets five stars. All the other trails that lead to the Granite Chalet were closed due to late snow. In fact, at the time of our arrival the Going to the Sun Road was still closed to the public. After gathering our packs, we started hiking up the trail. I had to use some strategies to get my parents up the mountain since the hike was steep and about 4.4 miles. The strategies included, “I’ll give you back massages at the top” and “I’ll make you dinner once we arrive”. As we hiked up the mountain, we saw breathtaking views…even more beautiful than a picture you might see on a desktop screensaver. As we hiked on, we saw a dark mean cloud that looked way meaner than a group of high school girls. As this cloud advanced on us, it started pouring rain. Rain and little bits of hail beat us down, as we pushed on towards the chalet. After hiking through rain and packed snow, we reached the chalet. As I entered the building, I almost started to cry. There was a fire, decks of cards, books, and strangers sharing stories over cups of warm coffee and hot chocolate. I was so happy to have warmth, blankets, a guitar, most importantly food (I was really, really hungry). Compared to the harsh conditions outside, it felt like a haven with the friendliest strangers known to man. The view right outside of the chalet was so incredible I kept doing a double take. Soon the rain stopped and we saw double rainbow across the sky at sunset. I gambled pebbles away in a game of poker with some girls, and then our family ate a wonderful dinner my mom made in the community kitchen. The night ended with us softly singing Under The Bridge by the Red-Hot Chili Peppers around the indoor wood burning fireplace. As we walked back to our cabin the clouds parted and revealed the moon between the mountains. Soon, we climbed into our bunkbeds and said goodnight as we looked out the window at the mountains.

The next morning I woke up slowly, fell out of bed and put some clothes on. I ran to the main chalet, chugged a bowl of warm porridge, and got ready to hike up to the Swiftcurrent Lookout. This hike was 2.2 miles with an elevation gain of approximately 1800 feet and included hiking in snow. Dad and I sprinted up the mountain because we had shuttle to catch by 2pm and if we didn’t make it, we would have a 6 MILE EXTENSION to our hike which would then TOTAL 14 miles.  So, hence all the sprinting. As we approached the lookout the wind was roaring. It was so windy that if I let go of my hat, it would probably have landed somewhere over South Africa. When we got to the lookout, the view was incredible. We could see down into the Swiftcurrent Valley on one side and West Glacier on the other. The view was great but I soon noticed a marmot named Pierre. I sat down and he started to talk with me. He said, “Hey, in exchange for some food and a little cash, I can get you the loan of lifetime, start a business… get your life started.” I said, “Keep talking.” He said that he could get me loan for almost no interest, and I responded, “That sounds fishy.” Just then two other marmots came up behind him and asked me if there was a problem. The scene suddenly became a black and white detective film that included marmots and it was apparent I was here to bust a criminal. I whipped out my pistol and said to the two bodyguard marmots, “I must catch your filthy, tick filled, loan shark, Mafia Boss Marmot. So, let’s make this quick.” The two marmots lunged at me and I uppercut one and roundhouse kicked the other. By this point, Pierre was shaking in his boots with only his skinny squirrel assistant trembling beside him with a thick Italian accent, “Whatttta we gonna do boss? We’re FINISHED!” I grabbed Pierre, bolted down the mountain with my jacket rippling in the wind and a group of marmots chasing me screaming, “IT’S OVER DETECTIVE EXPLODING BEAVER, HAND OVER THE BOSS!” Soon, I was surrounded. Tiny Marmots waved their tiny broken beer bottles at me. “Oh yeah?” I asked the marmots. I threw down a smoke grenade and continued to run down the mountain with the Pierre in hand. “We’ll get you one day!” they yelled. As I looked back, I saw marmots rolling in every direction and I, Detective Exploding Beaver, successfully turned in the Loan shark, Mob boss, Marmot. A job well done.

My dad and I came down the mountain surfing on the snow. We hurried back to the chalet at breakneck speeds. We packed up, found Samantha and my mom, and the four of us sprinted down to the shuttle. We made it with only a handful of minutes to spare. As I was riding back in the shuttle, I thought about how privileged I was to have such an amazing experience at the Granite Park Chalet.

AHEM.

THE SCORES ARE IN,

AND THE GLACIER GRANITE PARK CHALET GETS….

DRUMROLE PLEASE….

 A 9.5/10 AND “A” FOR Awe-inspiring views (way better than a DESKTOP SCREENSAVER)

YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN AN AMAZING AUDIENCE! THANKS FOR COMING OUT FOR THE SHOW TONIGHT!