Circleville, West Virginia: VIA FERRATA

Blog Post by: Josh and Eli

What you’re about to read about may be shocking, disturbing, and mildly annoying. The case files of the Via Ferrata have been a closely guarded secret until now. Reserved for only the most bloodthirsty of parents determined to kill their teens, their names: Teenager Terminators. These are their stories.

*Dun Dun*

*Switches to Josh: We wake up in the morning groggy but alive. We started our drive scared and wondering if we would make it back alive or in boxes. We were scared for our eventual death or injury.

*Switches to Eli: As the van doors open, Josh and I are thrown out and our blind folds are taken off. We’re forced to walk on the trail in the Appalachian Mountains, and we approach the two granite fins, that have claimed countless teenage lives. Josh exclaims, “No wonder we were brought here. I knew they were tired of us. Nefarious scally-wags.”

*Switches to Josh: We set off climbing straight up the trail, like sheep brought to the slaughter. We did not know when they would unclip us and push us down to our inevitable deaths. We come around the first turn and look down at the countless memorials of the fallen teens. Teen screams still echo throughout the canyon.

*Switches to Eli: “No wonder they brought us here, it’s where they could dispose bodies without getting noticed! There are countless memorials that no one could ever keep track of!” This couldn’t be happening. We thought this place was based on ghost stories we heard as kids. I look back at Josh and his face looks like a ghost. We had to find a way out and fast. But how? I quickly survey the area looking for anyway to escape, but then, “JOSH! We have to make it to the bridge!” We both nod as we frantically scramble for the bridge trying to get to the other side of the canyon.

*Switches to Josh: “Run before they get us!” We both start running fast, trying not to fall down the twelve hundred foot drop.

*Switches to Eli: The bridge starts to sway, and rock as we sprint across. The creaks echo through the canyon. Uncle Bubba had gained on us and was eager to cut the bridge ropes. We were going to have to jump for the edge. As we jump, I fall short, but Josh grabs my hand, and pulls me up. We had escaped, but now we had to survive the rest of Via Ferrata. “Let’s get this done.” Josh announces. We start to navigate the deteriorated trail as we come to grips that our own fathers were trying to kill us on Father’s Day. Hiking on the side of the mountain, I get sewing machine leg and my hands start to slip as I look down. Every step I take, the world seems to collapse around me. The creaking rungs and mind-numbing drops produces adrenaline that I can feel coursing through my veins. Each rung is a battle to hang on to. Through jagged rocks and cliffs, we press on. As we climb up, we see an opening. We pull ourselves up the final rung and both collapse next to each other. We were at the top. We had escaped the Via Ferrata and our fathers. Legend still has it that Teenage Terminators are still there today.

All in all the Via Ferrata although fun was an adrenaline inducing adventure that brought all of us to our limits. Overall, we would rate this adventure a 9/10 skulls, perfect for murdering your young teenagers.

Special Thanks to Michael Bay for making this movie-blog thingy a possibility.